


A Quiet Evening Alone

by Arden (ArdenLa)



Series: Confessions of a Teacher's Pet [9]
Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, Pining, Power Imbalance, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, age gap, explicit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-30 00:12:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12096459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArdenLa/pseuds/Arden
Summary: Lonely, emotionally conflicted, and chronically anxious, Eirwen hides away deep in the recesses of her school’s library. But her own thoughts invade her privacy, and she finds herself unable to resist testing the boundaries of her relationship with the professor she’s pining over.





	1. Chapter 1

Eirwen stretched back over the armrest of the old leather chair and yawned deeply. The arms were too high for her to sit on it naturally, so she laid across it lengthwise like a bed. As her back straightened, the pile of books and papers in her lap fell to the floor in a heap. She groaned and sank back into the chair, glaring at her fallen study material as if it had betrayed her.

She’d been reading for hours, trying to get as much information into her brain as possible before her test in two days. It seemed so close, uncomfortably close, and her quiz grades left her feeling unprepared. As a mage and an elf, she was on a short leash at the university, and her athletic scholarship was dependent on her maintaining a 3.7 GPA or above -essentially all As, with only a few very minor mistakes allowed.

As of last semester she had a 3.9, but doing poorly in her Genetics class could put her in serious jeopardy. She was an excellent student, she knew that, but every good grade she had was earned after dealing with anti-mage and anti-elf prejudice from almost every professor she had. 

It had been a long time since she took a break, though. She sat in the depths of the library, tucked away into a corner she was confident few knew about. If she could muster up the motivation she could go get something to eat, but she was too anxious and too tired for that.

With a soft grunt she reached down and pulled her phone from her pile of things on the floor. The little blue light blinked incessantly, and when she woke it up she saw she had a new text. 

[4:14pm] Hahren: I prefer bodyweight work. It requires little space and minimal equipment.

She raised an eyebrow, scrolling up briefly to remember how they got on to this discussion. That naturally made her recall what she’d been thinking about before she buried herself in her work: her philosophy professor’s incredible arms. 

Earlier that day he’d worn a button-down shirt and pulled up the sleeves, revealing his tight, well-muscled forearms. Eirwen couldn’t take her eyes off them, thoroughly distracting her from whatever the lesson was supposed to be. They were already more than just a teacher and student -they messaged each other frequently, spent over an hour in his office most afternoons, and often went out for lunch or coffee together. He even helped her calm down when she was having a panic or anxiety attack. 

Whatever they were, it only made her attraction to him worse.

She shifted in her seat and looked around, a horrible idea worming its way into her head. She really was alone here, and it was so quiet in the library. Maybe she could use a quick distraction, just something to satiate her mind for a couple of minutes before returning to work.

Since realizing her attraction to him, Eirwen had developed a neat and tidy string of content for her horribly inappropriate mind. First there were pictures, mostly men in dress shirts and women in schoolgirl outfits. Stupid, but it helped. She had a folder of pictures on her phone that went from vaguely sexual to fully nude and definitively pornography. This time she only intended to look at the less explicit shots, the ones that could hopefully feed her curiosity without requiring her to take action. 

If only she had pictures of him. That would be creepy, super creepy, but Maker she would love being able to look at him whenever she wanted. He was so handsome, so frustratingly kind and wise and sweet that she found herself longing for him far more often than she should. She could almost picture him right now, walking toward her, finding her in this quiet corner of the library and just kissing her when she least expected it.

Thinking about him like that was so wrong. So inappropriate. No matter how much time they spent together, no matter how many times he complimented her hair or gulped when he saw her in a short skirt or held her gaze for just a second too long, he was still ultimately her teacher.

But he was so handsome. And his arms looked so strong. She imagined him pinning her to her seat, muscles flexing as he looked deep into her eyes. Then he would crash his lips into hers, his free hand moving under her back to hold her close to him. 

She imagined his fingers, soft and strong, sliding up her back to unhook her bra. His lips looked so kissable, so warm and inviting, and feeling them on the bare skin of her neck would surely drive her wild. She’d have to be quiet, even as he slipped his tongue against her neck, his voice low and teasing as he reminded her where they were.

She squeezed her eyes shut and let her head roll back, feeling her nipples harden in her shirt and wetness surge between her legs. Damn her imagination. She couldn’t do this here, not where someone could theoretically walk in on her. 

She covered her warm face and groaned inwardly, her ears drooping in frustration. This was a disaster -she was a disaster. She had to decide whether she wanted to do something or nothing, whether she would let this burn or fade away. No matter what, it couldn’t simmer like this.

So she took a deep breath and made a bad decision.

[7:38pm] Me: Are you busy tonight?

[7:43pm] Hahren: Is something wrong?

She frowned -why did he have to be so sweet all the time?

[7:44pm] Me: Not exactly. I could just use some company and a study break. Have you eaten dinner yet?

[7:45pm] Hahren: No. Why?

[7:46pm] Me: Want to get something quick with me? I can buy it.

It was a long time before he answered her, long enough that she put her phone down and, defeated, went back to her work. She could hardly concentrate though, and only got through two sentences before her phone buzzed again. Naturally, she picked it up so fast she almost dropped her books again.

[8:03pm] Hahren: No need. They don’t pay us so little I cannot afford a meal. Should we meet somewhere?

Her heart almost stopped, and she had to read the message at least three times before she could process it. She didn’t know what she was expecting with that, but it definitely wasn’t this. If she had to bet on this exchange she would have expected a shaky no, something that suggested he wanted to but also knew he couldn’t. 

But this was entirely out of her realm of possibility. She had to answer him; she didn’t think she’d get this far. 

[8:06pm] Me: How close are you to campus? I’m at the library.

[8:08pm] Hahren: Not far. I can pick you up. Do you have a restaurant in mind?

She wracked her brain for an answer that wasn’t embarrassing. Most of the places she ate at were mostly vegetarian, if not entirely, and they were probably pretentious enough for him.

[8:10pm] Me: There’s a place on Piroette that makes incredible veggie burgers. They put eggplant in them. Any interest?

[8:11pm] Hahren: Sure, sounds good. I’ll be outside the library in about twenty minutes. Will you be ready by then?

[8:11pm] Me: Mind if I bring my books?

[8:12pm] Hahren: Hah, what kind of teacher would I be if I did?

Her heart skipped and she sank down in her chair again, eyes wide. This was really happening. She swallowed hard and typed up a quick response, trying to keep herself from panicking.

[8:13pm] Me: A shit one. I’ll see you soon then, hahren.

[8:14pm] Hahren: See you soon, Ms. Surana.

With a slow, deliberate movement, Eirwen put the phone down on top of her backpack and crossed her arms over her lap. This was really happening. It was just a quick dinner, just burgers and fries, but it was still dinner and he was going to pick her up. 

As she shifted to pack her things, she realized with an annoyed frown that her fantasies earlier had made her far more aroused than intended. Fantastic. She was meeting her professor for dinner while absolutely drenched from thoughts of him making out with her. This could only go well.


	2. Absurd

She sat back, kicking her feet underneath her where they hung off the hood of his car. His car. She closed her eyes, attempted to focus herself on the physical realities of this moment and not the excited, electrified terror gripping her chest.

It wasn’t his fault. He was nice to her, sweet to her, and always so encouraging. He did nothing inappropriate or untoward. Even this, even taking her to get dinner after dark, involved an impressive lack of awkwardness between them. Maybe there was a line somewhere, and maybe this was on it, but it didn’t feel wrong to be with him like this.

He shifted, the car moving slightly under his weight. She smirked and glanced at him, holding her french fries close to her chest for warmth. “Poor car. I think we’re too heavy for it.”

He sighed and closed his eyes as he lay back, moving until he was comfortable. She couldn’t keep her eyes from drifting, from falling to his hips as they moved against the cold metal. They lingered there for far too long, stuck on his hips, her thoughts going to places they shouldn’t when she saw it didn’t look like he had much extra room in his pants. “I needed an excuse for a new one anyway.”

She turned away quickly and scoffed. “No way do they pay you enough for a new car.”

“What? You do not know that.”

“Yes I do,” she said, smirking. “They’d never pay an elf enough for new cars as you please.”

He winced, still smiling slightly. “I want very badly to disagree.”

“You can’t though, it’s true.” She ate a few fries and hummed softly. “It sucks.”

Solas opened his eyes and looked at her. “Speaking of which, as much as I trust that you are an excellent athlete, I am curious as to how you managed to earn a full scholarship.”

“Well,” she started, shifting to cross her legs under her on the car. “Obviously,” she looked at him over her shoulder. “I slept with the athletic director.”

“Obviously.” 

Eirwen sighed and shook her head. “No, she’s way out of my league, to be honest.” Eirwen ate another couple of fries, then held the box out to him. He hesitated, then took a few and thanked her. “Have you ever met her?”

“I do not believe so. Perhaps in another capacity. What’s her name?”

“Aveline Vallen. She’s a redhead and gorgeous. Also, probably married.”

“So… does she have a soft spot for Elvhen?”

Eirwen cast him a wry glance. “She has a soft spot for talented athletes, hahren.”

He grunted softly and sat up, raising his eyebrows at her. He was so close now, close enough for her to see the subtle laugh lines on his face, the first hint of crow’s feet around eyes. Like this, when she could see the signs of his age up close, she always expected some sort of revelation. Maybe she’d finally realize on a deeper level that this wouldn’t work, that the spots and scars in his features would only divide them. But she always found herself memorizing them, committing every piece to memory for when whatever this was inevitably fell apart; she didn’t think it pessimistic to assume that one day this would be a memory. 

“You know I am not implying you aren’t talented,” he said softly, that little smirk making her heart race. He had an almost dreamy look in his eyes, reflecting the yellow streetlights around them. 

“Well… you are just taking my word for it…”

He turned his head, narrowed his eyes, giving her a look that seemed to smolder in the dark. Her lips parted softly, her gaze flickering over his face, hesitating on his lips. “I have every bit of faith in your abilities.”

“You have no proof, hahren,” she replied softly, smiling at him.

“Mmm… is watching you compete truly the only way to know you excel at something requiring so much skill and grace? Honestly, da’len, I think not.” He leaned toward her slightly, and her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t respond, her words buried deep down in her chest. Her eyes widened, her heart pounding in her ears, heat flooding the blood in her veins.

“I- I have to go to the bathroom,” she said suddenly, surprising both of them. He blinked and pulled back, nodding, eyes wide as if shaken from a dream. “I’ll be right back.” He gave another nod and she slid off the car, grabbing her phone to take with her.

She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, immediately turning around to put her back against it. Her breathing was too fast, her heart pounding in her ears. But this wasn’t a panic attack; she’d had them enough times to know this wasn’t the same thing. She was still on-edge, still hot and shaky, and the feeling wasn’t exactly good, but it wasn’t an all-consuming burn either. She closed her eyes and let her head drop toward the door behind her. As soon as she took a few deep breaths she could go back. She needed to be more realistic about this. Everything, all of the closeness, every overmeasured breath, was an overreaction. He just wanted to help her, and she was turning it all into something it wasn’t.

With a renewed, forced calm she went back outside into the night. From the side of the restaurant where the restrooms were she couldn’t exactly see his car, and as she stepped out of the dark and toward the streetlight her ears perked at the sound of his deep voice. At first she couldn’t make out what he was saying, but knew he was talking to someone and wasn’t particularly happy about it. 

She crept closer, staying just out of the light and well-away from his line of sight. “That is not what this is.” He had a subtle growl in his voice, a noise that should have frightened her but instead did something else. “This is not any of your concern, either.”

“Man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just asked a question, you didn’t need to take it so personally.”

“It is not an apology if you only make it to excuse your poor behavior.”

Eirwen smirked at that, ever-impressed by his bluntness. She emerged from the shadows behind the lamp, smiling a bit as she approached his car. “Something going on?” She asked, glancing between them.

Solas sighed and looked at her, shaking his head slightly. “If you are finished, we should leave.”

Her eyes flicked from Solas to the man talking at him. He was probably about Solas’s age, some kind of vague professional, and significantly less attractive. Not that he was bad-looking, per say, he was just human and… generic. Eirwen frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. The man took a deep breath and put his hands up, stepping back. “Just asking a question.”

“What were you asking?” Eirwen tilted her head, genuinely curious. 

“Eirwen,” Solas started.

“Listen, I just wanted to know how he got you. Like… I’m not saying anything disrespectful, it’s just… you’re very beautiful, and I was wondering how I could get someone like you.”

“An… elf?” Eirwen asked, raising a brow at him. 

“No! Fuck, an escort.”

“Craigslist?”

“Eirwen!” Solas cut in, blinking at her and pushing off the car. “Can we please just go?”

She nodded and stepped back, watching the man warily. He mumbled something under his breath and turned around, presumably heading back to his car. Solas unlocked his doors and she got in, looking out the window as he watched the man leave. He finally got in and closed the door, then looked at her with raised brows. “Craigslist?”

She smirked and shrugged. “He wanted an escort.”

“Don’t tell people you’re an escort!”

“Technically I didn’t. I just didn’t disagree with him.”

Solas closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Eirwen…”

For a few minutes she didn’t say anything, just pursed her lips around a smirk that pulled at her cheeks. He started the car, and in the silence between them she finally spoke. “It was pretty funny, though.”

Solas gave her a wry side-glance as he pulled out of the parking spot. Despite himself, he smiled. “You are an absurd person.”

She shifted and let the side of her face rest against the seat. “Well… you haven’t kicked me out of your car yet.”

He paused and looked at her, fully smirking now. “I did not say it was a bad thing.” Then he laughed and shook his head. “And I would never kick you out of my car.”

“Never?”

“Well…” He considered that. “Maybe if you threw up without warning, or smelled particularly bad.”

She snorted as he turned to look back at the road. “Dick.”

He chuckled, and the sound made her heart skip again. “That’s not very respectful, da’len.”

“Mmm neither is throwing someone out of your car because they’re a bit stinky.”

“It does explain why I keep our meetings after you have practice as short as possible.”

Her jaw dropped and she sat forward, stunned. “No way, you are a dick!”

He laughed and pulled out of the parking lot, on to the highway. “I am joking, you really don’t smell that bad.”

“I actually don’t believe you.” 

“Well, you would know better than me.”

He continued on to the main road, bringing her back to campus where she shared an apartment with three other girls. Comfortable as they were with each other, and as loudly and easily as their conversation carried on through the drive, still he dropped her off far from her residence hall, leaving plenty of space for no one to associate them with each other. He did it without having to explain to her, without having to justify the distance between his parking spot and her home. She knew without having to be told that even this was not allowed.


	3. Magical Tendencies

She’d told him she worked on this project all summer, and it showed. Her presentation was well put-together and carefully researched, but also clear enough for a casual audience to understand. He had never heard of the animal she was lecturing on, but everything about it was captivating.

It helped that she looked stunning. Her long legs, made longer by three-inch grey heels, looked lean and muscular leading up to her vivid blue dress. She’d put her countless careful, tight braids in a thick bun atop her head, with a few dripping out the back to add an extra hint of glamour. Under sparkling silver eyeshadow her storm grey eyes shone like diamonds, and when she smiled the room seemed just a hint lighter. 

Her voice carried in the event hall through tall black speakers, and every word sounded bright and confident. She never shook or stammered, looking every bit as engrossed in her subject as he was with her appearance. 

When she finished, he was the first to stand up and clap. She saw him and beamed, visibly ecstatic that he’d managed to come. She answered questions from the crowd, then joined them all afterward for drinks and snacks. Her presentation was second to last in a series of undergraduate research projects, but it was easily the best. Everyone could tell by how much applause there was, and when the MC finally announced who had won the scholarship prize for best presentation, he breathed a sigh of relief when they called her name.

She took pictures and smiled that beautiful smile and held up her certificate proudly. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was enough to make a difference. Not until she was finally done did he approach her, finding her by the food table as people were heading home.

“Solas!” She grinned and squirmed a bit, making his heart lurch. “So… what did you think?”

“You are exceptional. You deserve all of that prize and so much more.” 

He watched her blush and had to hold back a similar reaction himself. Just seeing her so happy, seeing her finally get recognized for her hard work, made his heart race. Silly as it was, he loved to see her succeed, far more than any professor likely should. He told himself he loved it because they were both elves, because she deserved to do well, because she was his best student. He had to believe that, after all, because the alternative was too discomforting. 

“I love talking in front of a crowd. It’s so rewarding. Well,” she paused, pursing her lips. “Provided I actually know what I’m talking about. But I guess I’m still good at bullshitting.”

Solas laughed and shook his head, then eyed the food table before looking back at her again. “Have you had dinner, da’len?”

“Just these pot-sticker things,” she said, nodding toward the snacks. “Why?”

“Would you like to go somewhere and celebrate?”

Her eyes flashed and he squinted slightly, his reaction measured and his nerves under control. It was a risky question, a dangerous offer. They’d gone out just a few nights prior, and had burgers and french fries and milkshakes on the hood of his car. Nothing unseemly happened, but every time their skin brushed he’d quickly pull away, and whenever he caught a whiff of her perfume he’d stop breathing. 

But he couldn’t help himself. She was so bright and smart and beautiful. Everything about her enchanted him, and her consistent realism grounded his often drifting mind. He hoped he could be something positive for her, if nothing else. She had no Elven friends here, and though he was her teacher, he wanted to support her regardless.

“Um, sure!” She smiled, looking confused for a moment before nodding. “Any idea where?”

“I was thinking Nevarran,” he offered, keeping himself carefully aloof as always. He put his hands in the pockets of his dress pants and gave her a small smile, nodding toward the exit. “Shall we?”

She nodded eagerly and followed him out, chattering all the way about her presentation and research. He listened to every word, asking questions and pushing her for more. She was happy to indulge him, giggling and explaining and gesturing with her hands. 

He’d driven her places before, but seeing her get into his black two-door always gave him pause. She had to ease herself in, folding her long legs to fit in the low-riding vehicle. He sat down and tried not to look at her, feeling heat tinge his ears and shivers tickle his arms. She was so close, sharing the same autumn air and speaking low so only he could hear.

He started the car and let her talk, eyes stuck to the road like he’d never seen it before. 

When she spoke, she tended to use her hands to demonstrate different animal behaviors and appearances, making signs over her neck and head for the frills of a lizard or the feathers of a bird. She sat sideways, her voice so vibrant here that it felt physical. If he stole a glance in her direction he’d catch how her eyes gleamed in the streetlights, how the storm gray looked almost black in the night. She smiled at his questions and he kept his mask of cautious curiosity, determined not to let slip how powerfully he was under her spell.

They parked outside the restaurant, both somewhat overdressed for what was a relatively casual place. As her heels clicked on the cracked asphalt it occurred to him that despite their age difference, this looked exactly like a date. He even felt an itch in his hand, the one nearest to her, a desire to reach out and pull her close. 

But he held back, reserving himself, holding the door open for her as they walked inside. It was lively, with a bustling bar and larger table area, filled as much as might be expected on a Friday night. There was a wait, so he gave the hostess his name and they stood by the door. 

She leaned into the wall, beneath an ornate paper lantern, and looked at him almost evenly. With her heels she was roughly the same height as him, perhaps an inch or two shorter, meaning that she did not have to tilt her head up to look at him. “Have you ever been to Nevarra, hahren?”

“Not in a long while,” he glanced up at the lantern, brows furrowed slightly. “As I understand, the family that owns this restaurant are Nevarran. That is why the decoration looks so authentic.” She followed his gaze, stepping into the lane of foot traffic to see the delicate designs on the paper. “In the Fall, the Nevarran people celebrate their ancestors by filling the streets with lanterns like these ones. They hold parades and host pageants with performers dressed as famous members of their family, but more… flamboyant.”

“They’re much more comfortable with the end than we are in Orlais.” Her eyes narrowed slightly and she tilted her head, studying the designs closely. 

“That is because death is not the end to them. They see it as a passage into the Fade, nothing more.”

“I kind of like that,” she lowered her gaze, looking at him again. “No end, just another beginning.”

Before he could respond a waiter came toward them carrying a tray high above his head. Instinctively Solas pulled Eirwen out of his way, gently holding her arm and bringing her closer to him. He held on just an instant longer than he should have before pulling away.

“Th-thanks.” Her hand moved slightly, as if to touch where he’d grasped her, but faltered. “We are in the way, aren’t we?” It didn’t matter for much longer, as less than a minute later the hostess was able to seat them in a quieter corner of the restaurant at a table for two.

She insisted on getting something simple, but going out to dinner without an appetizer was insanity to him. After some light arguing she relented on a type of spinach dip, which was, of course, delicious. He also refused to let her pay, explaining that this was a congratulatory dinner and, as such, it needed to be a gift. They ultimately compromised by letting her pay for the tip. 

Again he found he utterly enchanting, unable to keep his eyes from fixating on her hair, her eyes, her lips. Every time she smiled he had to look somewhere else, hiding his weakness behind a playful, smirking mask. Between them was some invisible boundary, some line across the table that neither dared cross. If she reached too far she’d pull back, and if he relaxed and let his legs spread out he knew he would touch her. So despite the comfort in their conversation, the ease with which she smiled and he blushed and they spoke of meaningless things, they both sat stiff and contained.

After they paid he led her back out, resisting the strange urge to put his hand on her back. As they walked, they were so close their arms brushed against each other, and before he got into the car he paused, staring out over the parking lot. She noticed his odd expression and looked at him quizzically. “What’s up?”

“Do you feel that?” He asked, and she shook her head. 

“What am I supposed to feel?”

“Despite the strength of the Veil, some of us with magical tendencies can feel when there is a shift in it. I could… I thought perhaps you might feel it too.”

She leaned into the car, peering at him over the roof. “Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention. You know… you should show me sometime.”

He met her eyes and tilted his head, confused. “Show you what?”

“Your magic. Your connection to the Fade, such as it is.”

“It is not… It is not something I could easily show you. Magic is… largely a private matter.” He shook his head and sighed. “It requires great concentration, and… being asleep.”

“Oh.” She laughed then. “Maybe describe it to me, then?”

“As we drive?”

She nodded and they both climbed in, setting the GPS on his phone to her building. 

“It is more than just a dream, but less than reality.” The streetlights looked like stars around them, bright and silent. “Magic exists between such places. And above them. I have trained myself to walk among my dreams like I can walk in reality, with full awareness of my body.”

“So… lucid dreaming?”

“Not… exactly. Sort of.” He bit his lip, trying to find some way to explain it. “You are more tethered to the dream than that. You are in the Fade and part of it, connected on a deeper level than you might be for a normal dream.”

“Do you have normal dreams too?”

“Not anymore,” he answered, quietly. “These are better though.” He turned on to campus, taking a backroad nearer to her building than the main one. 

“I’d love to know what that’s like… to dream and feel awake.”

“You could, you know.” She looked at him with a raised brow and he went on, turning into her street. “You are every bit a mage as I am. If you practiced, if you harnessed that… you could dream just as well, I should think.”

“Truly? You think I could do that?”

He nodded and smiled in the faint light. “I know you could. It is only a matter of practice.”

She sat back, shaking her head slightly, in awe of such potential. “A matter of practice… and I could do that, dream like you do… use magic like you do?”

“You are exceptional, Miss Surana. In… so many ways.” He swallowed hard, immediately regretting that. “I mean, you have a great deal of potential, and should you harness that…”

He trailed off, and she stayed quiet as they parked outside her building. There were other students wandering around, standing outside the main door and smoking or talking loudly. “I want to know more,” she said finally, looking at him hard. “I want you to teach me.”

“I… cannot do that. Not directly.”

“Why?”

“It would require… more than I am able to give you.”

“How do you mean?”

“We would need to be… much closer.”

“Physically?” 

He looked at her, turned his engine off, and frowned at her in the dark. “Eirwen… please. I can’t.”

“You’re the only one who could.”

“But I’m not. I am your- it would be inappropriate.”

“Why? You said magic is natural, that it’s an extension of ourselves. How could teaching me something like that be inappropriate?”

“Because, Eirwen…” He sighed heavily and sat back, staring forward into the night. “We would need to meet in private. We would potentially be breaking the law. It would be… we can’t, Eirwen.”

“I want you to.”

He turned to see her now, leaning toward him, so close he could feel her breath on his neck. “Are you certain?” He lowered his voice, his brows knit together and his eyes clouded with conflict. With a steady but careful hand he gently touched her cheek, feeling the soft skin of her face beneath his fingers.

She leaned into his hand and nodded, their eyes meeting solidly and confidently for the first time that night. Then she leaned in, shutting those night-blackened eyes, and pressed her lips to his.


	4. You Are Perfect

His fingers shook, and she grasped his hand to squeeze in hers. Everything fled from his mind, washed away like a sudden shift in tides. He felt the softness of her lips on his, heard his pulse pounding in his blood, smelled her perfume, longed to bring her impossibly closer.

Just as suddenly as she kissed him she pulled back, blinking, the edge of panic in her gaze. A slight smile tugged at his lips and he gently brought her back to him, their lips meeting harder now, her body relaxing against the seat and her grip on his hand loosening. He shut out the noise in his head that made him want to pull away, to end this, to bring them both back to reality, and instead slipped his hand to the back of her head and deepened the kiss.

Without thinking his tongue traced her bottom lip, almost teasing in its softness. Her lips parted and he felt her breathe in sharply against his mouth, shaky and hot. He tilted her head up toward him gently, letting the power and calm of this moment wash over him.

She pulled away and he breathed her name, eyes still closed, forehead leaning into hers. “We cannot do this…”

She shook her head, panting, suddenly grasping his arm. “I want to.”

“Eirwen.”

“I want to.”

He kissed her again, harder now, closing his eyes tighter and bringing her toward him. She leaned into him, into his touch and his kiss and his space. He breathed against her lips and pulled away, one hand on the steering wheel. “We need to go somewhere else.”

She nodded quickly, giving him room for a moment as he turned the car back on. He drove away from her building and into one of the large, mostly-empty parking lots nearby. But she couldn’t stay off him for long, and he felt her kissing at his cheek and neck even as he pulled into a space. As soon as he parked and shut off the engine he turned to her, kissing her hard and holding her like he thought she’d disintegrate in his hands.

She moaned into his lips and he shivered, already intensely aroused. Her tongue danced with his and he struggled to get close to her over the center console before she pulled back, breathing heavily and still holding his arm. “We need more space.”

He nodded quickly and gestured toward the back. “I can put the front row forward.”

She kissed him again, hard and starving, and spoke against his lips. “Good.”

They kissed one more time, lingering more than either intended, before he stepped out and did as he promised. She followed his steps -easily figuring out exactly how the seat worked without being told- and joined him in the back after they both shut their doors. As soon as he was in she climbed on to his lap, her lips crashing into his, her dress hiked to her upper thighs. He grasped her hips and pulled her down into him, making her feel the effect she had. She shuddered at the feeling, her body suddenly much warmer at the sensation of his erection under her dress.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, pulling back just enough to speak. She put her hands on either side of his face, panting and holding on to him tightly, eyes half-lidded. 

“Abelas,” he managed to say, and he really did mean it. “You are… impossibly beautiful, da’len.”

She laughed breathlessly. “It’s not- you’re just… really big.” She rolled her hips over him, making him even harder, and he blushed hotly.

“I… yes, I suppose so.” His hands gripped her hips harder and he looked into her eyes. “Is this alright?”

“No,” she said, and he was about to panic before she laughed and kissed him again. “Harder, hahren.”

His heart skipped a beat at her words and he found himself utterly speechless. He suddenly moved his hands to her ass, squeezing it so hard she yelped. “Like that, Miss Surana?”

Her mouth hung open slightly and she nodded, wearing a look of almost amazement. “Yes, hahren.”

He knew this was a bad idea on every possible level, that he could be fired or worse and she could be expelled, that this was potentially ruining any hope he had of being her friend. But she was here in his lap and calling him hahren in a voice that would make a siren jealous. He’d tried for so long to resist his attraction to her, to ignore how badly he wanted to do all of this and more, and now his will was spent.

“Good,” he said. He drew her hips on to him again, earning a shuddering moan from her perfect lips before he cut it off with a kiss. She grasped at his face and around his neck, struggling to hold him as she rocked her hips over his hard bulge. He thought this was what he needed, that this might be enough, but she broke off and looked at him and her words made his breathing stop.

“I have a condom. In my bag.”

He swallowed hard, eyes wide, looking over her face. “Are… are you sure?”

She nodded without hesitation. “Yes. Please, Solas…” Her hands slipped back to his cheeks and she looked into his eyes. “Before I can realize what a horrible fucking idea this is.”

He snorted and leaned back, blinking hard. “Eirwen… you don’t know what I- how much I want to…”

“I do,” she insisted, trying to meet his eyes again. “I want it too, I…” She trailed off, swallowing hard, and relaxed against him. “I’ve thought about it. A… a lot.”

He straightened again, raising one brow. “You have?”

She shifted, not able to look at him anymore as she went on. “I… I think about you. About how much I want you, it’s- I know it’s bad, and it sucks, and I’m sorry, but I just…”

She lost her words and he was quiet for a moment before he gently turned her to face him, his blue-grey eyes calm and understanding. “You do not need to apologize. I… did not exactly discourage this…”

“But I don’t want you to. I don’t think you get it, I- I cannot stop thinking about it. About this, about you, I… please, Solas.” 

He took a deep breath, his hands still holding her rear, before he finally nodded. “Only if you tell me something.”

“Anything.”

He smirked, an almost evil expression that made her shudder. “How did you imagine it?”

“I…” She bit her lip and he tightened his hold again, making her gasp before she explained. “Every way, hahren. I want… I want you to bend me over your desk.” Her voice lowered and his eyes narrowed, lit by a hungry flame. “I want you to make me do things. I want to sleep with you and ride you and just- everything.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at how she mixed her euphemisms, apparently still too professional to just say what she meant. “If you can say it, I will gladly acquiesce.”

“Say… what?”

He put his hand under her chin and met her eyes, still smirking. “What you want.”

“I want… you.” He kept looking at her, waiting, and felt her bounce a little on his leg. “Here. Now.” Still he did nothing, and even in the dark he could tell by her hesitation and the way her eyes shifted away that she was blushing. “I want you to- to fuck me, Solas.”

The words sent a deep, primal shudder through his body and he nodded, rolling his hips under hers. “Ma nuvenin, da’len.” 

She turned around then and fished her bag from the front row, giggling as he kissed at her neck and shoulders. While she was turned around, climbing on her knees, he found himself completely unable to tear his eyes off her ass. It looked fantastic in this dress, round and firm with her pert cheeks peeking out from under the hem. He reached for her and ran his hand down her spine, tracing the zipper of her dress slowly. She gasped and shivered, finally sitting up when she got the condom from her bag. 

He stealthily checked the expiration date when she handed it to him, not wanting her to think he lacked faith in her sexual prowess. When she returned to him she tried to take it back, and he held it just out of her reach. “What are you going to do with it, da’len? I do not think there is space under that dress for anything that would require this.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You have not been to enough drag shows then.”

“Is there such a thing as enough?” He let her have the condom, still smirking as she climbed back into his lap and attempted to open it with her teeth. “Please tell me you have more of those.”

“Why?” She asked, mouth full of wrapped condom. 

“Because if you tear it this will end very quickly.”

“To be fair,” she started as she took it out of her mouth. “I am on birth control.”

“Let me have it, da’len,” he said gently, not wanting to have this discussion yet. If by some miracle this ever happened again, they could discuss going without a condom. But until then he did not want to risk hurting her.

“Are you still…?” She asked, then shook her head. “No, you are. Um.” He pulled her close again and tilted his head. “Are you going to fit?”

He raised his eyebrows; now it was his turn to blush. “Ah… I know a spell that will… er, ease entrance.”

“Maker’s breath, seriously?!”

He chuckled and leaned his forehead into hers. “It comes in very handy.”

She exhaled shakily and kissed him again, chastely at first but then harder and deeper. Her moan vibrated against his mouth and he was immediately back to being fully hard, his hold on her hips tightening with the sudden sound. She rolled into him and he hissed, breathing quickening, skin hot and desperate for her touch. 

His hand found her zipper again and he broke the kiss, breathing heavily. “May I?” 

She reached back and unclasped the top of it, then nodded. “Please.”

The dress slid down off her shoulders as he brought the zipper toward her tailbone, making her look vulnerable in a pale lace bra. He shook his head softly, moving his hand to hold her by her waist. “You are so beautiful,” he said, and his voice was full of awe.

She smiled and gave him another kiss, softer this time. “So are you.”

With a soft chuckle he eased her toward him, making her sit up on her knees so he could press kisses down her neck and to her soft round breasts. She gasped and covered her mouth, hiding a deep moan. He bit her, just enough to tease, and her noises made his cock desperate for haste. One hand moved down to her thigh, grasping it hard as he slid his other hand under her bra and felt one of her hard nipples between his fingers. She whimpered and shuddered, back arching as he cupped her breast and took it out from the lacy underthing.

He pulled back for a moment, looking at her simultaneously disheveled and formal appearance. Her hair and face were as perfect as always, her braids largely untouched, but her dress had slipped down to reveal her breasts, pulled free from her lace bra. They gleamed slightly in the streetlights, her dark nipples small and hard and very tempting. He took in a deep breath and shook his head again before bringing her nipple to his lips.

She moaned again, stiffening against him, pressing her chest into his mouth. His tongue rolled over her nipple, sucking it slightly and making her tremble. By the time he moved to her other breast she was a whimpering and moaning mess, struggling to stay on her knees while her legs shook.

With unsteady hands she found his belt, unclasping it as he kept tending to her chest. Her fingers danced over the outline of his cock in his pants and he hissed, the touch almost painful on his extreme arousal. He helped her take him out, pulling his underwear down and letting her feel him in her hand.

“Maker…” she whispered, and he looked at her as she sank back into his lap. His breathing came in hard and fast, her small hands on his ample length too much for him to believe. He closed his eyes and tried to control himself, determined not to completely shatter at her touch. Then she found his hand with hers, and brought it between her legs.

She was drenched through her panties, the wetness obvious from the lightest touch. He pressed into her hardened clitoris, making her moan and squeeze his wrist in desperation. “You are sure you want this?” He asked, his voice low and gentle. His fingers toyed with the edge of her underwear, ready to pull it aside at her consent. 

She nodded and ran her hand up his cock, bringing it toward her. “Yes, hahren. Please…”

And he kissed her lips, hard and firm. He let go of her with one hand to retrieve the condom from beside him on the seat. She helped him put it on, bringing the smooth latex over his long, thick cock. 

He brought her hips toward him and pulled her panties aside, the tip of his cock pressing to her soaking heat. She brought him against her entrance, holding him steady as he quickly cast his spell. Slowly, well-aware that it might still hurt at first, he pulled her down and pushed inside of her. 

She gasped sharply and gripped his back, squeezing her eyes shut. “Is that okay?” He asked, quiet and concerned. Even as her tight walls formed a vice on his cock he searched her eyes for pain, holding her close to him. 

“It feels good,” she whispered, and before he could reply she sank down further, making him moan. She started to move, carefully rising up and down, so tight he had to concentrate so as not to finish early. She shook around him and he grasped her hips, leaning forward as she rode him. Their lips met again, hard and hungry. 

He let go of her with one hand and reached between them, rolling her clit under his thumb while his other fingers pressed into the hard muscles of her stomach. She moaned and her muscles pulsed around him, tightness made tighter. He kept moving his thumb, working in hard, defined circles until she was gasping and collapsing against him.

“Fuck, hahren,” her voice squeaked and she hugged him tightly, burying her face in his neck. “You’re so good at that.”

He kissed at her neck, struggling now to keep the same pace as her movements became more erratic. Her cunt twitched around him and he knew she couldn’t last much longer. Gently he pulled her back from him, looking her in the eyes. “Cum for me, da’len.” Her breath hitched at his whispered words, her lips parted slightly in awe. “I want to see your face. I want to see what I’ve done to you.”

Something in his words ruined her. She moaned and sank down, taking him in almost entirely before she came apart in his arms. Her muscles stiffened again, her arms locking behind his back, her eyes widening in ecstasy. He felt her squeezing him, hard and tight, the feeling rapidly becoming too much. “Fuck me, Solas…” she whined, definitely too loud for their location. “Hahren, hahren… wreck me.”

As she came he moved his hands to her hips and pulled her down hard, making her cry out in pain and pleasure. She tried to keep up with his pace, rocking her hips as he brought her up and down over his thick cock. She kept saying his name, delirious with pleasure, entirely enraptured by this impossible act. 

He let go of her with one hand and suddenly drew her lips to his, kissing her deep and slow just as he felt himself reaching his limit. He brought her down hard and she cried out against his mouth, her wet sounds mixing with his low, guttural groan as he finally came.

She kept riding him, kept kissing him, kept rolling her hips over his cock. This would normally be when his senses came back, when he could pull away and examine the mess he’d created. But instead he felt a rush of warmth, a deep and powerful need to be near her. “Eirwen,” he breathed, still inside her. “You are incredible.”

“I’m not done, hahren,” she whispered. She moved her hands to either side of his face and rolled into him again, making him shudder. “I want more. Keep going.”

He chuckled weakly. “Not here, da’len. We…” He should stop. He should drop her off at her building and quit his job here and never speak to her again. All of this was more than a transgression, more than a mistake. He couldn’t encourage any more of it. “We need to go somewhere more private.” Somehow, it seemed, his words weren’t getting the message.

“Like where?” She asked, letting her forehead rest against his again. She shifted her hips back and forth, smiling slightly. “Maker, I love having you inside me.”

Goosebumps rose over his skin and he took a moment to breathe before going on. “My apartment, perhaps?”

She kissed him, quick and chaste. “That sounds perfect.”

He needed more too. He kissed her again, harder now, his lips swollen from how desperately they’d been used. “You are perfect.”

“Then tell me we’ll do this again.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I suppose I will have to.” His fingers pulled on her hips and she squeezed him. “I am still inside of you, after all.”

“I wish you could stay there.”

“Mmm…” He hummed softly and closed his eyes, refusing to think of this moment as any more or less than the magic it was. Reality could wait. “I wish I could, too.”


	5. Persuasive

She awoke to warmth at her back, to a heavy arm laying across her waist and lazily holding her close. The soft fabric of her borrowed shirt wrapped around her body, too tight for comfort on her stomach. She shifted, aware suddenly of a sharp chill in the air on her bare legs. The hard, hot presence behind her stirred, and she carefully rolled over to look at him.

The morning sunlight fell over them in harsh striped beams, crossing his sleeping face and drawing a long, thick line over her messy hair. He was shirtless and mostly exposed, fully relaxed against her. She didn’t feel awake, not fully, not beneath the blankets in this bed with the person she’d dreamed about for months.

And as she looked at him she recalled the night before, shifted her hips to feel the strain in her muscles from him. It hadn’t ended in the car, far from it. They’d returned to his apartment, where he immediately pinned her against his door and she’d squeezed her legs around his hips. He lifted her on to his counter, grasped her waist so hard it left bruises -in return she drew her nails down his back, cutting marks into the skin that made him hiss with pleasure. 

A slight smiled pulled at her lips and she shook her head, all of this almost too surreal to believe. She freed her arm from the blankets but not from the long sleeves of his shirt that ran past her hands. She reached out and touched his cheek, fingers brushing the soft skin of his face. Her thumb traced the subtle freckles beside his nose, his warmth beneath her fingertips. She shifted closer to him, pressing her chest to his, letting her forehead drop toward him and rest so that she was flush against his sleeping body.

Evidently, he was an extremely heavy sleeper. She expected movement, if not touching his face, would wake him up. He barely stirred, eventually shifting to lie on his back. She laughed and kissed his cheek, then carefully untangled herself from the blankets and rolled out of the bed. 

She didn’t bother putting her own clothes on, plenty comfortable in only his dress shirt despite the cold in the morning air. Though she didn’t have a toothbrush, she still used her finger and some of his toothpaste to scrub the sleep from her teeth. 

Her bare feet were soft on the ground, sticking slightly to the hardwood floor. She looked around the small apartment, taking in the high ceilings and simple, modern furnishings. Her fingers trailed over the back of one of the tall leather bar chairs in the kitchen as she let her eyes explore a room almost alien to her. The door, the counter, the couch, and the floor all looked very different now than they had at night, when she’d been too engrossed in her partner to pay them any attention. 

His shirt began to slip down over shoulder and she shrugged to adjust it, stopping in front of the sink to get herself a glass of water. The bright silver of his coffee machine glinted in the sunlight and she paused, vaguely recalling his preference for black coffee.

As the machine readied itself -louder than she expected- she wandered about, opening drawers and making mental note of various neat things he owned. There was a massive, ornate candle holder just sitting in a cabinet, and an uncommonly beautiful set of silverware in a drawer that looked like it hadn’t been used in months. She found his nice dinnerware too, plates made from fine porcelain with elvhen-inspired patterns dancing around the rim. 

But the most curious thing she found was a mug in one of his cabinets, living a midst other, far plainer mugs that might have been completely ordinary in another person’s apartment. It was almost entirely white, but there were big black letters on it proudly asking: howl you doin’?

She knew she had to use that one for his coffee. But as she took it out she turned around, and jumped suddenly at the figure in the doorway. “Shit, you scared me.” She laughed and shook her head, already blushing hotly as she filled the mug up with his coffee. “Good morning,” she said, clearing her throat when she felt her voice grate. “Um… I made you this.” She held the mug carefully in both hands and brought it to him, his sleeves covering her palms. “Careful. It’s hot.”

He chuckled softly and took it from her, shaking his head. “You did not have to do that.”

She shrugged. “I wanted to.”

He held the mug in his hand and looked down at the lettering, then shook his head at her and smiled. “You found my favorite, I see.”

“I thought it was the most ‘you’.” 

He laughed again and stepped close, using his free hand to tilt her chin up to him before leaning in to kiss her, soft and slow. She melted almost instantly, the touch of his lips making her legs weak. As if sensing this he moved his arm to her back, holding her against him as he slowly pulled away. 

“Last night was…” he started, and she shook her head quickly, immediately afraid of what he would say. 

“I know. But I won’t ever regret it. I -in fact, I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

His brows furrowed and she felt his fingers move, drawing small circles on her lower back. “I… I would as well. Which is probably not a good thing, really.” She frowned and he sighed, leaning move heavily on the doorframe. “I should not have encouraged this. I have a responsibility to you, as your teacher, and this is… at the very least an abuse of power.”

Her eyes flicked to the side, then back to him. “I don’t think so.”

“I am glad of that, at least.” He smiled and nodded to the couch. “Let’s sit.”

She backed up toward the couch, frowning. “I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I feel like that means you’re going to say something bad.” 

He chuckled and took her hand as he sat down, gently pulling her to sit with him. He clearly meant for her to sit beside him, but instead she sat on his lap. That made him sigh, but he put an arm on her hips and pulled her close all the same. “It will be difficult to have a serious conversation like this.”

“I just want you to get used to it.” 

His eyes flashed and he swallowed hard, his grip on her tightening for a moment before he closed his eyes and let his head fall back. Then he reached over to the end table next to the couch and put his coffee down. He picked her up and shifted, making her yelp as he moved her to sit next to him instead of on him. “You are far too persuasive like that.”

“What am I persuading you to do?”

He smirked. “Nearly anything you want, to be honest.”

She smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek. “Really?”

“Eirwen,” he took her hand and kissed it. “We cannot do this.” But his voice was far from sincere. She could tell he was trying very hard to make it sound that way, of course, but the way he looked at her and the way he held her hand told her otherwise. “You know that. I am your teacher, and if anyone were to find out we could both be in serious trouble.”

“No one is going to find out.” She sat up slightly, looking him in the eyes. “Besides, we’ve already slept together. Do you seriously think things will be easier if we just… pretend it didn’t happen?” Her voice tightened and she looked away for a second, hesitating. “Because, honestly, I… I don’t think I can do that.”

“It would be easier for both of us,” he said softly, still holding her hand. “And safer, in the long run. But I… I could not do that either.”

“So… what is your solution, then?” 

He sighed and shifted, sitting back a bit. She rolled on to her hip and squeezed his hand, bracing herself against the couch as she looked up at him. He closed his eyes, thinking, before he kissing her fingers again. “Perhaps we could wait until the end of the semester. Once I am no longer your professor, this would be more… reasonable.”

She pursed her lips, frowning. “You would do that? You would wait for me? That’s…” She swallowed hard, unable to go on. 

“What?”

“I don’t know. It’s just- that… it seems really serious.”

“I don’t mean…” He searched her face, and she couldn’t read him. The idea that he would wait for her seemed like too much; she liked him, but to think they would plan to be together in some form later made her nervous. “What… do you want from this, Eirwen?”

Her chest clenched and she shifted, taking a deep breath to prepare herself. “I… I don’t really know. You?”

He chuckled softly. “I would hope so. But…”

“What do you want, hahren?”

He closed his eyes for a moment, considering her question, then hummed softly and chuckled. “You?”

Eirwen laughed and relaxed into him, resting her head on his chest. “This is hard. Can’t we just… sleep together for a while and then figure it out?” She meant it as a joke, but after a moment she raised an eyebrow and looked up at him. “Could we do that?”

He thought on it, eyebrows knit together, and then shrugged. “I… suppose we could.” 

She bit her lip, then nodded and held back a smirk as she shifted. He looked at her as she rolled out from the space between his body and the couch and straddled him, hands on his chest, looking down into his eyes. “Could we do that now?”

He smirked and grasped her hips, making her wince with pain. “Still sore from last night, da’len?”

“Nngh… yeah… a bit…but it’s okay… I like it.” She rolled her hips over him, hunger flashing in her eyes. “You know, hahren… I think you forgot something.”

He narrowed his eyes, already hardening under her weight. “And what is that?”

She leaned over him, sticking her rear in the air and lowering her chest toward his face. Then she sat back, holding the “howl you doin’” mug in her hands. “Your coffee.”

He chuckled softly and shook his head, still holding her hips. “I think you’ve woken me up plenty, da’len. Now put that back. You wouldn’t want it to spill.”

Eagerness flashed in her eyes, and as soon as she put the mug back he pulled her down hard over his hips. She gasped, then smiled when she felt the hard bulge in his boxers. Still smirking, she leaned down to press her lips to his, perfectly willing to forget everything else so long as she could have this.


End file.
